Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Who are you?

Who are you?  It’s a simple question, usually answered with your name.  But sometimes it’s a deeper question, one you must ask yourself.  I’ve asked myself that question many times, and through the years I’ve had different answers.  I’m Anastasia; I’m Stacey (thanks for that, mom.) I’m a wife, I’m a mom.  But what makes me, “Me”?  Do I like who I am?  After many years, I can finally answer yes to that one.  It wasn’t easy getting there; no one ever told me how important it is for me to like me.  What about you? Do you like you?  With all the pressure and nonsense women are fed about themselves, how do you learn to like yourself?  It’s not always easy.  It’s hard to tune out all of the noises that are blasted your way, but you must if you want to know and like who you are.


Women are assaulted with images and ideas about being perfect.  Having the perfect body, being the perfect wife, being the perfect woman and the perfect mother.  Some women are fed these ideals all their lives, by the very people who should be telling them it’s ok to be who they really are. Many of us have mother issues, but that’s another article.  This is about shedding those ideals, and liking what you see in the mirror.  It’s not easy to go up against all the things that are ingrained in your head, but you can.
You must take what makes you feel bad, and reject it.  Throw it off, scoff at it, mock it, and give it the contempt it deserves. Embrace what is in your head and in your heart, your natural self, who you want to be. I’m not talking about the notion that you are a “Goddess”, that’s too much to live up to for anyone, and an impossible goal just like the rest of the messages you get. You are who you are, revel in the good and mitigate the bad, and accept that there are both. The opinions of others only have a place if you want them to, and your opinion of yourself is always the most important. If you like who you are, good! Go with that! And if you don’t, figure out how you can change it if you can, and accept it if you can’t. It can be a long journey, but a journey well worth the time.


You will find that there are people in your life who don’t want you to like who you are. Let’s face it; you are much easier to control if you feel guilty, fearful and depressed. If you are constantly seeking the approval of someone who will never give it, that person has to go. Or at the very least, stand up to them and tell them that you are who you are, and if they don’t like it, too bad. It will be a monumental struggle to get negative people to stop trying to make you feel bad, but it’s a struggle you must face and win.


So ladies, be who you really are.  Whether that’s a woman on her own, a wife or a mother.  Working outside the home, staying at home, with kids or not. Whether you’re a wife or a partner or happy to just be by yourself, to have true contentment, you must like who you are.

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